Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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