Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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