why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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