yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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