who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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