This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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