kristin has been a bad kristin
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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