You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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