So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
