White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I want a musical about memes.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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