All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
