I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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