she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
