He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she peed on how many people?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
