I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
