You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
