Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
