thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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