Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
