Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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