Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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