his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
