whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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