Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
