Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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