Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
