your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Farmville is her only friend.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
