no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize