That's intense
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
