dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
