So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
