I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
