But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
