So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
