the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Those nachos came to me in a dream
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
