our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
