After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
