Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
