I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Are we still banned from the library?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
