I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
