So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
