Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
