Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
