Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I currently don't understand fingers.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
