it wasn't lemon gatorade
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
