That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i believe in u and ur pee
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
