Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
