You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
