I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I wish I only lived at night.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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