they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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