When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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