Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
