i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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