I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
